Cletus goes on: "See, son. See, what happens to Lum,
same thing happens to me, see, if I've ate one.
It's nothin', just onion. Just a bowl of Onion grunion.
Indigestion ain't fun, son. Ain't nothin' in Babe 'n' Bunyan --"
"Yes, but Cletus, this has beat us: 'CI581'."

"Hey Timmy, don't sweat it. You guys! Just ferget it.
Amanda used to get it. In Atlanta.
Amanda's my ex -- had some hex with Tex-Mex.
Didn't expect the effects. She ate onion: no sex.
I ain't perplexed. All due respects, Lum needs Tums. And Mylanta.

"Think about it. Perhaps ya will find it's dyspepsia."
Tiffany says, "Interesting suggestion. Indigestion.
Dad gets it real bad. My mom says that he's had
stomach trouble since she had me. It's really too sad."
"But does he get epiphanies?" asks Stephanie. "That's the question."

"Not exactly," says Tiffany. "Not exactly epiphanies.
Just gets him biffin' me, and tiffin' with my mother."
"Dang me! Hi Tiffany! Hey Carlos. Cletus. Stephanie.
Hey guys, that woman's given me a second dang epiphany!
At least, I think that I've just had another."

Tim says, "Lum, you're kidding me! Another epiphany?"
Says Lum, "Have you guys finished eating?"
"No. Pull up a chair," Jade says. Lum says, "Where?"
Carlos says, "Anywhere." Lum says, "OK. There.
Man, I love this cafeterial seating.

"Should eat here more often. The seats are so soft an' --"
"Excuse me," says Tim, a little nervous.
"Say what?" "Mister Prez," Tiffany diffidently says,
"You heard from that woman?" Lum says "How'd you know? Oh ... oh ... yes,
I just told you! Do they serve fries with their burgers?"

"You can fill your whole plate! And the salad is great,"
says Cletus. "Leastwise, I liked mine."
"Well that really sounds nice." "And a very good price."
"Great. Don't have to think twice! I'll be right back you guys."
So they wait while Lum stands in the line.

"Do you think it's historical?" asks Jade. "What?" "The oracle.
Or maybe it could be allegorical?"
Cletus says, "You mean gas?" (He seems nice, but no class.)
"That Amanda had gas. But a real piece of ass."
"No, Cletus!" laughs Jade. "Like ... metaphorical."

"Dang me! That woman on the checkout ain't human!"
laughs Lum. "She got biceps like Tyson!"
Still chuckling, he sits. "She didn't like me one bit
but I'll get over it. Anyways, who gives a shoot?
Hey, did I tell you about me and the bison?"